Have we lost our sense of community?

I was lucky to have grown up and been raised by my parents and grandparents in a bilingual home built on tough-love, selflessness, morals and a strong connection to faith. It is these integral moments that although now a nostalgic memory, were pivotal in fostering a sense of community and belonging in my adult life. As a child, I remember my parents both working full-time. They would leave early in the morning, prior to school drop off. We (my siblings and I) were left in the care of our extended family. Every adult knew that to raise us as good people, it would require sacrifice and commitment. As they say, it takes a village.

We were so lucky to have our village. Pappou would take us to school and pick us up. Yiayia would have food ready at 4:00pm. She would ensure that we were bathed and well-fed. It was in these moments where we would learn and grow with those who we loved most. When mum and dad would arrive home, we were able to spend time together. It is these selfless acts that create the family unit into a formidable force.

But… I am not 10 anymore. The world now that I am in my 20’s seems like a much colder place.

If you’ve ever stopped for a moment when you’re out in society to take in your surroundings, it is common to see bleak looks on the faces of civilians.

You may have read that and screwed your face. Made a comment countering my observation with a plethora of instances debunking my statement. But I’ve seen this sadness oozing out of people in several contexts. Australians, as a generalised collective, aimlessly seek to attain superficial and materialistic desires in the hope of obtaining an ounce of happiness. We are disconnected. We are lonely. We are sad. Why?

We dedicate our waking hours to soul-destroying jobs for little financial reward. We lock ourselves in our houses, too tired and drained from the day to socialise with those who we love. We deny ourselves of true connection through the inherent distractions we all face from social media. We leave our children in the care of strangers all so we can make ends meet.

We have become slaves to our job, our debts and, conforming to the pressures of society. We have forgotten the one thing that grants us hope; our sense of belonging in community and love of life.

My good friend, Martina is the inspiration for this piece. She works in a psychiatric nursing ward and had highlighted to me just how withdrawn and isolated people actually are in Australian society. She empathises with the individuals and their families; stating that in most cases the psychological damage is due to the inability of the individual to feel as though they are a part of a positive nexus which is integral to prevailing in times of hardship.

Martina and I were discussing the topic over a coffee and a mortadella panino. Her anecdotal story was about an interaction she had with a Nigerian Uber driver. Through general conversation along their journey, the topic diverted into a conversation about how Australia lacks a sense of community. Martina opened up about her profession and her everyday dealings. The gentleman disclosed that he felt as though he knew what the crux of the issue was. He stated that the prevalence of societal issues in Australia can be attributed to a limited sense of belonging in community.

He conclusively said that in Australia it is evident that the majority of the population has no ‘village’. We have lost the importance of a collectivist culture and now live in an individualist society.

Although this man had relocated his whole life to a foreign land for what I can speculate was for a brighter future, he cannot but help to compare his motherland with his new home. We here in Australia have everything we could possibly want at our fingertips, yet the majority of people are dissatisfied with what they have and the life they lead. They seek or mask these feelings through means that are not sustainable. Belonging, the feeling of it, transcends mind and body. It is what feeds the soul. It must be authentically developed through human compassion and love which fosters a sense of trust over time.

How do we get back there?

This blog post is dedicated to my grandparents and the acknowledgement of the ultimate sacrifice they made. They moved across the world to a new country all whilst maintaining our customs, traditions and faith. You raised us selflessly and with so much love. We are eternally grateful and we adore you.